POST UR JOKES HERE!!!!!

[ENDragoon]

POST UR JOKES HERE!!!

A man on a plane  asked the stewardess if he could use the restroom. She told him the men's room was broken, so he had to use the women's room.

Then she said, ''But don't push the W.W. button, or the P.B. button, and DO NOT push the A.T.R. button."

But of course he had to push the W.W. button, which he discovered stood for warm water (sprayed on your butt). Then he pushed the P.B. button, which stood for powder your butt. And since those two things had been so pleasant, he pushed the A.T.R. button.

He later woke up in a bright room and doctors were all around him. When he asked why he was there, they asked him if he hit the A.T.R. - automatic tampon remover - button.

The guy said, "Yes... what happened?"

The doctor said, "Your penis is on your pillow."

[Tanassy]

why'd the chicken cross the road? XD


srsly i know no jks

[ENDragoon]

why'd the chicken cross the road? XD


srsly i know no jks

the chicken crossed the road cause it wanted to rape ur other side, GET SOME JOKES OFF THE INTERNET!!!

I bought a bunch of land in upstate New York, and I built a bunch of cabins and bunks and things on it. Figured, I'm going to start a summer program for kids with ADD. I don't know, no one showed up. I don't know what I did wrong. I was calling it: Concentration Camp.

[Tanassy]

LAWL

[jkid101094]

Did you hear about the girl who went on that fishing trip with five guys? She came back with a big red snapper. :3

If the dove is the bird of peace what is the bird of love? The swallow. :3

*Has more memorized that he doesn't feel like typing*

[TheGameNinja]

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, and after finishing their dinner they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" "Watson, you idiot!" He exclaims, "Somebody's stolen our tent!"

[Tanassy]

lol!

[ENDragoon]

Marriage

The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband.
They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.
"Steve," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces.
They are going to eliminate six overaged destroyers." To which the husband replies, "Sorry to hear that, dear.
I'm sure you'll miss your mother being gone."

[maikoka1]

OMG
JOKHS
I LOVE JOKHS
and I know some gooooood ones C:

***
Lights went out in the plane and one man said: WOW! We flew into a tunnel! 8D
***
It's night... A couple is kissing eachother in a dark alley.
-do you love me?
-yes, you?
-me too.
-what's your name?
-George. Yours?
-mine too.
***
Two guys get stuck in an elevator.
One is shouting: HELP! HEEELP!!!
Second says: Let's shout together!
First: TOGETHER! TOGETHER!!!
***
-Daddy, daddy! My classmates are calling me fathead! D:
-Then beat the crap out of them, son.
-I would but... They always head to narrow corridors D:
***
Fire on 21st floor.
Guy threw children out from the window to save them.
***
Guy is selling a parrot.
Woman came and asked:
-What would you say if you saw me with a man?
-I'd say you're a b*tch.
Came another.
-What would you say if you saw me with a man?
-I'd say that you're a b*tch.
After third woman, guy got mad at parrot and yelled:
-Don't say that to another woman or I'll boil you! >:U
Came fourth woman.
-What would you say if you saw me with a man?
-I'd say that you're with husband.
-What if you saw me with 2 guys?
-I'd say that you're with husband and brother.
-What if you saw me with 3 guys?
-I'd say that you're with husband, brother and a friend.
-What if you saw me with 4?
-DUDE! HEAT THE WATER UP! SHE'S A B*TCH!

ok I'm done for a while xDD
I'll be coming back soon

[jkid101094]

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, and after finishing their dinner they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" "Watson, you idiot!" He exclaims, "Somebody's stolen our tent!"

A nice, funny, clean joke. You my friend get an A+. :3
And +1 karma because it matters to people for some reason. :3