CCoSZ

[Princessofthechaosemerald]

JUST MY OPNION: Don't listen to her girlfriend, she seems jealous. Ignore that. If anything, I find you VERY funny; and you are. She's just finding ways to push your buttons. To do exactly what you're doing now, get over Kay. There's no reason for you TO get over Kay, you guys are just friends. But, to me, she just wants Kay all to her. So she's trying to pull you two appart.
  Now, what I DO know, is that what you TOLD Kay, is probably the best thing -- you were being the better person and just letting her know how you felt. And just totally ignoring everything else past that (It's something I did with Shelley, except more anger involved and had nothing to do with not Talking to eachother. It was more of, she was a bitch and I had it with her).
  If there's anything you could do now, in my honest opinion, is to move on. Maybe quit Tumblr for awhile? Leave that Roleplay group and just keep on. I know this isn't the best advice, but what you did now, was the best thing to do, and probably the only thing to do. 

[jkid101094]

JUST MY OPNION: Don't listen to her girlfriend, she seems jealous. Ignore that. If anything, I find you VERY funny; and you are. She's just finding ways to push your buttons. To do exactly what you're doing now, get over Kay. There's no reason for you TO get over Kay, you guys are just friends. But, to me, she just wants Kay all to her. So she's trying to pull you two appart.
  Now, what I DO know, is that what you TOLD Kay, is probably the best thing -- you were being the better person and just letting her know how you felt. And just totally ignoring everything else past that (It's something I did with Shelley, except more anger involved and had nothing to do with not Talking to eachother. It was more of, she was a bitch and I had it with her).
  If there's anything you could do now, in my honest opinion, is to move on. Maybe quit Tumblr for awhile? Leave that Roleplay group and just keep on. I know this isn't the best advice, but what you did now, was the best thing to do, and probably the only thing to do. 

Thanks, hun. At lot of this happened awhile ago, though. I had a few friends on Tumblr but I find the site boring so I left. I've tried getting Kay to talk to me but she ignores me so...I'm kind of lost.

[Princessofthechaosemerald]

Thanks, hun. At lot of this happened awhile ago, though. I had a few friends on Tumblr but I find the site boring so I left. I've tried getting Kay to talk to me but she ignores me so...I'm kind of lost.

Ah, I see. Well, I'm sorry to say it, but, past that, there's not much you can really do. You can try and still strike up conversations once in a blue-moon, but I'm sure you've already tried that.
  No matter what, you know you have friends here who LOVE talking to you. I know we all aren't as close as you and Kay were in friendship, but we love seeing you around.

[jkid101094]

Ah, I see. Well, I'm sorry to say it, but, past that, there's not much you can really do. You can try and still strike up conversations once in a blue-moon, but I'm sure you've already tried that.
  No matter what, you know you have friends here who LOVE talking to you. I know we all aren't as close as you and Kay were in friendship, but we love seeing you around.

Thank you, hun. I really appreciate it~

[anonuser]

I'm sorry that I'm not using my real account, but I needed to vent and wanted to stay anonymous for personal reasons. Hope you understand. If you know who I am, please don't tell anyone.

This is the short version of the story. I had a 16,478 word story about it but felt it was too long and went into too much detail.

Started a few years ago. I lost everything. My home, friends, family. My life. I joined here in search of a place to have fun after being permbanned on another site for the same reason.

I enjoyed it for about a year and a half... but I had to leave due to personal issues, drama on here, and just crazy depression from what happened to me.

It only got worse when I left. I found another community, and around the same time fell in love. I dated this girl for 7 months... then I found out she was cheating on me (with a friend of mine, no less.)... That, in addition to what happened to me earlier in life... I started cutting. I was suicidal, almost went through with it twice. I talked to my best friend for about an hour and she talked me out of it. Things were good.

Then I joined a great site, screwed up and had literally 100 people constantly attacking me. I went back to that state, and just recently got over it. About 70 people were banned from that alone.

I joined a game community, became a Moderator in said community (very large community), and I'm having a lot of fun there.

I met someone absolutely amazing. I felt so great around her. We became close friends, played games and talked from the moment she got home from school until she went to bed. She was constantly on my mind. I was going to tell her how I felt about her, but today, I found out she has a boyfriend. I just feel like dying, I don't know what the hell I've done to deserve this, I'm glad she's happy but I just keep losing myself in a dream world... life sucks. I'm in a skype call with her and 3 other people right now, it just feels so akward and I don't know what to do...

Thanks for reading, I suppose.

EDIT: Was in a skype call with her and a couple others, and someone added her boyfriend. Holy shit, I think he takes the cake for the absolute biggest prick I've ever met. It also sounded like he was fapping literally through the whole fucking time he was there. What the hell...

[jkid101094]

I'm sure someone helped the anon in PMs but I think I have a clue of who we're talking to and I wouldn't feel right posting nothing and just ignoring his post. I'm not exactly sure what to say which is why I haven't yet, but I'll try to say something.

I'm close to losing my house too and I can kind of sympathize with you on more feelings than one. It's hard to move on, I know it is, but if you can't push through the hard times you won't be able to create any good ones.

As for your girl situation I'm in the exact same boat except mine thinks she's a lesbian (please laugh). I want to say things will end up well for you but I can't hide the fact that the girl I care about has given me nothing but pain as of late. All I can really say on the subject is power through it. Wait until she breaks up with the goof and if she doesn't try your best to move on. Know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em, so to speak. You might say her happiness is first and foremost but remember, you are the only one controlling your life and things are only going to get better if you take the right actions. What you do is up to you and, so long as you honestly believe you made the right choice, you'll never have regrets.


Now for my problem.

So I've been 'Kayless" almost a month. Even still I don't want this to end and figured it was worth it to try one last time to fix things. Here's the message I sent her;

I don't know when or if you'll see this and I'm sorry that it's so out of the blue but there's something that needs to be said. Remember before when I told you I needed to talk to you but you said you weren't feeling well? Well it can't wait anymore. It's tearing me up inside and I think I should, at the very least, tell you before this all ends the way I think it's going to.
http://soniczone.net/forum/index.php?topic=12211.msg427990
First I want you to look at this. I don't care if you read the responses, just that post is the important part. It pretty much sums up what I'm about to say but I'm going to say it again anyway. In short; we miss you. We as in me. As in GD. As in Maddie. As in Nazo. As in Tobi and TGN and Dshad and Kyo and the rest of us who used to hang out with you. We all want you back, me especially. Now if you read the post then you already know this isn't just a, "Come back to SZ!" plea. I want you to understand the severity of what I mean when I say this may be the last time I try to talk to you. I don't want to lose you, but if you just shove this off I'll take it as a, "we're done". I know you're busy. I know you have a life but I've checked your posts on here. You're pretty active. Saying you're too busy only works when you aren't sitting at a computer. The way I see it is that if you can talk to them you can talk to us. Disprove me if I'm wrong but there is no reason that you can't be on both sites at once, or at least more active in our Skype chats. I'm willing to accept "my message got lost on Skype" as an excuse so many times. There have been multiple times where I've tried saying hi to you only to be ignored. I can understand once or twice but nine times out of ten is too much. When I started going on SZ my mom told me not to leave my friends on GoW behind and to this day I haven't left their side. You, on the other hand have pretty much abandoned all of us for these guys on Tumblr and I honestly wonder how long it'll be until you abandon these guys for another group. I know I've brought this up before and your response has always been, "Dude, we're like best friends." but then you never back that up with action. You go right back to ignoring me and it makes me feel like I don't even matter to you. Are you just not trying to hurt my feelings because you've turned me into a nervous wreck and I just can't take it anymore. This is NOT the jkid that is in love with you talking, mind you. It's NOT the jkid hyped up on Zoloft. It's the jkid that decided four years ago that the two of us were best friends that's talking to you. He knows Kay is in there somewhere and he just wants his friend back. Of course, you might probably brush this message off, but, if you've read the post on SZ, you should know that if you do our friendship is done and over with. Until you can realize that there are people that love and respect you that feel like you've abandoned them then I think it's high time they stopped waiting on you. GD has already moved on, and though I'm clinging to my last few threads of hope I'm almost to that point too. Good luck with your future, sweetheart. Even if you don't care I hope you at least remember that you've been a huge part of quite a few lives and that there are a ton of people that'll never forget you...for better or for worse.

Am I being too harsh? Am I in the wrong?

[SmashFinale]

Harsh? Hardly. I'm harsh jkid. When she first announced that "she would be too busy because of school and life" that was pretty much a half-assed, half-hearted attempt of saying "I'm bored" in the kindest way possible.

In this day in age, if you are able to get on the damn internet and watch YouTube videos and check Facebook statuses you are sure as shit not too busy to drop by a site like this and say hi. Chris Silvano does it. PSNGigobyte does it. Why the fuck can't she? What makes her so damn special? Unless she was addicted to this site and needed the kick the addiction Jeexx-style, she had no valid. But as far as i can tell, she role-plays, she watches YouTube, she checks Facebook, and she gets on Skype. If she is ignoring you for no valid reason, end it. If her girlfriend is in the way, she will eventually dump the stereotypically jealous bitch. But like i said, i seriously doubt she is too damn busy to say hello.

[jkid101094]

Well she actually responded to me and we patched things up a bit. Apparently she doesn't even talk to her GF much anymore.

I do appreciate the support though, Smash.

[Hakudamashi]

Sooooo, the two of you are cool again? But she still won't come back here? Well, as long as she's alive.

No, I don't think that was harsh, just the words of a very concerned friend.


But now I has a problem,Code Cyan Google broke my Wii U and I'm upset...

[xSalashawty]

But now I has a problem,Code Cyan Google broke my Wii U and I'm upset...

Can you return it and get it replaced for free or send it to Nintendo? It's not your fault for it breaking, and Nintendo seems to be reliable for fixing their products. I had to send in my wii awhile back, and they fixed it like brand new. Maybe they'll do the same for a low cost, if it even costs at all?

Code yellow specifically pink, green, purple grey.
I already talked to a few members here and I appreciate their help so much, I owe everyone who has helped me.
I'm still hurt to break down in public though and still lose my sleep, so I'm going to my last resort.
Alright...long story time here we go. Sorry if I made the text too small

Almost a year ago I met someone who I thought was the greatest, always funny, smart, knows priorities, athletic, does co-curricular, all of those  kinds of qualities.
Let's fast forward to March 26th. We decide to settle down and call ourselves into a relationship. All of the months were good, we did crazy things for each other out of love, some even getting us on the verge of trouble (all worth it.)
Let's fast forward again to around the first week of August, when I left for vacation out of the country. This is where everything goes down a little.
I couldn't talk to him for a week, and when I finally did, I was able to tell him how much I really miss him and what's been going on. The way he acted was different from when I left, but I shrugged it off. It might of been me since I haven't seen him for a week or so.
Fast forward - after I came back, school was going to start in a few days. We both talked a lot prior and I was already prepared for him going to school at a different time than me and coming back hours later since he was going to do some co-curricular things. Something still seemed out of the ordinary, but I shrugged it off again since it's school, maybe he's just tired. We kept talking for shorter periods of time than normal, even when school was in session during March through June. I started to notice it, and it hit me after a few days since I wasn't used to it. Call me weak and overattached - but yeah, it's true. I did break down occasionally but he was there to make me feel better and assure me that he'll be there to help my emotions and to help me cope with it. About a week later, he suddenly stopped talking regularly to me. Either I get a text from him when I don't expect it (in the shower, left my phone somewhere else because I got used to getting nothing) or it was in the middle of class, and I can't answer those anymore since I'm unluckily placed next to the teachers all year round. The days we wouldn't talk started getting longer, and when we did talk, it was for a really short period of time abruptly ending around 10pm each time with "night" and no time for me to say anything. I knew he was busy so I let it off. I was sad of course but I knew I was going to get used to it. "As long as he still loves me," my mind thought, but this is where it changes.

On Saturday, he came on around 9:30, which didn't leave a lot of time for conversations. I greeted him with "hi" and I teased him about how he's always busy. I asked him, "What if it stays like this until the school year ends?" His response: "It might just lead to a break up.."
I teared up (fuck, I am right now again) and we talked about it. Here's a glance of the conversation (as far as I can remember) orange representing me and lime representing him

I don't want to leave you hanging.
I know, but I don't mind..I understand you're busy. As long as we can talk on certain days, I'll be okay..
...
I want to fix everything we have left. I want to build what we still have left without force.
Let's stay for a little longer. If we are able to fix what's left then we'll continue making memories, if not, then it's going to have to be this way.
...
Be honest with me, do you still love me?
Yes, not as much as March since we're starting to separate, but yes I still love you..but how about you?
Honestly..I don't know.. ever since you left for vacation... the first few days I missed you a lot, but after awhile, I got used to the bachelor's life again, hanging out with friends and sis..
Oh..

I excused myself to calm down, but it's gotten to where I started to cut myself with nail cutters. I changed the subject to nail cutters and how fast skin healed. No questions were asked, and after awhile we both went to bed. I couldn't sleep straight, and when I did, the dream was him saying "The site is taking you away from me." I found that quite saddening and weird. I always went here when he wasn't on or during his schedule for co-curriculars. I asked him to text me good morning to make me feel better, and he did. I told him about the dream, he seemed pretty neutral, even in disputing it. More questions were asked.

Do you still think of me as your girlfriend or as a friend now? I don't know..it's inbetween
Ah, alright..and I'm assuming you're busy today? Maybe.
Was going to ask if we could skeep later on but if you're busy it's alright. I dont know for now.
I'm supposed to be dragged to church at 10 but I can do it now and be back before 12 Might play tennis today
Oh alright, one more thing, could you force yourself to sleep a little later sometime soon? It might help.. No, it might seem a little selfish but I want to continue sleeping early.
It's understandable. I was going to refrain from asking this but how can I get you to fall in love again? Honestly, I dont know.. :c
I remember we stayed up late for hours during March and we skeeped a lot too. They might help but I'm not sure anymore. Did trimester start? If it started then fuck. xD it'll be way harder. I want to find a way though, and I'll (half-)promise I will. I'm tired of the one being in pain from things like this and I want to fix it before its too late, but thats my first step. -five minute break- Gonna play league now.. Alright. Have fun. It's like you don't give a fuck anymore..

I talked to some people here because I was left in tears. They helped me feel better and even gave me the courage to sever the ties with him (I was thinking of doing that while I slept but I denied it and had a mixed feeling of fixing and breaking right away when I woke up from sleeping) I felt better that morning. Dragged myself to church but I was crying and breaking down in the middle of it. I started getting a headache from it but I excused myself. The first time, I was only crying a little bit and out of pure turmoil, just said "I hate you I hate you I hate you! I don't have anything anymore!" I don't know how or why that came out of my mouth but it did. Washed my face and went back out to my seat, only to cry more. I told my mom it was from the headache and she took me out for medicine. I felt a little more calm but still sad. We went back home, came on the chat, saw an old friend and talked to him for awhile. I felt better when talking to him, but I felt ultra-light headed and had to go take a nap. Thoughts flooded again, I went back on. Out of curiosity, I checked if he was on one of our games, and I just felt the depression and stress pour onto me again. Made another cut on my arm to stop myself from crying again.

I'm going to sever the ties tonight around 8-9pm (which is in an hour.) I'm going to do it as calmly as possible, and if he doesn't understand, I'll rip up the love note I made for him several days before he admitted his feelings (the note was for us being together for seven months but not being able to celebrate our day) in front of him. I still have feelings for him but they're cooling down. I'm going to tell him we can just be friends and leave it as that instead of waiting for a month and hurting me more than it should.

On a sidenote: for choir, our extra song is going to be a pop song. My choir just happens to be singing a break-up song (Jar of Hearts) and now when I listen to it for half a minute, I start tearing up. I'm asking her if I can skip the song until I feel better (probably not going to happen since I'm the only strong singer for my section of the choir.) Is that too much to ask for?

UPDATE: This is stupid of me but...we both compromised..
I told him I wanted to sever it now, but he still wants me to hang on now since he said he's starting to kind of "feel" it again. I'm not exactly sure if I should go but I still let him anyways. I'm deciding it as an open relationship.
Instead of ripping the letter, I showed it to him..I'm awaiting the response. I think it's starting to kindle up a little more. We're reminiscing the past and it's really making us smile. However, I told him that if I'm in anymore pain than now then he's going to have to give me the verdict of severing or not.

Sorta seems like he wants to save it, but at the same time he doesn't mind. I don't know anymore.
Update 2:I think he's trying. The note helped a lot. I'm not sure if my elated feeling will last long enough but I'm hoping it will. I'm sorry for not severing the ties and leaving myself a big trap. Maybe it wont trigger.
He told me "Pls don't I know this hurts, but stay strong" before we went to bed so it might be a good start? He also apologized for everything including ditching me for league. He's unsure of the schedule still but let's hope for the best..

[jkid101094]

Well I have no right to tell you what or what not to do, however, I'll try helping you the best I can. I now I have to choose my words carefully...I'll try, but sorry if I upset you. I only mean the best.

I forget how old you are, Sal. You met this kid in school? I remember you being younger than the rest of us and at your age most kids can't commit to a relationship. It's not that they don't care, it's just that they're too young to really understand what they're doing. It's really neither of your faults that it isn't working out and I don't think him feeling more comfortable being single is really a bad thing either. When you're in a relationship you feel really tied to the other person, for better or for worse. At your age being tethered like that feels restricting. This is the time in your life where you get to be carefree and have fun. You really shouldn't worry about these things until you're older.

Also, not to make you feel even more down but, please don't cut yourself. I know you're smarter than that and it does nothing good for you.

If he wants to keep the realationship going then I'm happy for the both of ya, but I still stand by what I said. Live while you're young.

[Link]

You shouldn't have to worry about boyfriend/girlfriend stuff at your age.

And please, do not cut yourself. It does not help you, and It is harmful.

Sorry if something I said turned out wrong in any way.

[xSalashawty]

replying to Jkid:
I didn't meet him at school, and I'm 13. He's 15. I understand what you mean by we're young, I understand..honestly I've never really cared about being a little carefree..it hardly clicked. (Well, carefree where I'm not supposed to be at least)
I'm not thinking of cutting myself too much more, some things are changing for the positive but I don't know how long that will last.

Replying to Mr. Link:
I've always thought I was a fool for starting things like this haha but hey it worked out.. ;~; and you didn't say anything wrong, I understand.

Update 3: Nurse found out, called psychiatrist, who called my dad, who hasn't called mom yet. Dad is fully aware of the situation and it's up to both of us to tell my mom (which if any of you guys remember, was the first reason why I left SonicZone for months) and I don't know how she's going to react to a situation of the past repeating itself all over again other than maybe the same penalty. Not only will that make my situation worse but to lie to my mom for a long time (she doesn't know about the time I dated Mikey either because I didn't do any of this..) whelp... I"m not planning to tell her about Mikey but I'm sure as hell hoping she won't find out. Take this as my notice too: I might disappear again for the same reason my mom did to me three years ago because of this situation and I'm not sure when or how I'll be back if this happens to me. God damn..

[jkid101094]

replying to Jkid:
I didn't meet him at school, and I'm 13. He's 15. I understand what you mean by we're young, I understand..honestly I've never really cared about being a little carefree..it hardly clicked. (Well, carefree where I'm not supposed to be at least)
I'm not thinking of cutting myself too much more, some things are changing for the positive but I don't know how long that will last.

Trust me, hun. I didn't either. I do now, though. I know you hear this a lot from grownups but take it from one of your friends; growing up sucks. Don't rush these things. Yeah you're going to be asked out, you're going to fall in love and you're going to be surrounded by kids that want to act older than they are but it's better for yourself to not get involved in those things so you don't look back on your teenage years and wish you had used them to have fun.

Also, I don't mean to prick any old wounds and I'm sorry if I do, but you should know better than I do that online relationships rarely work out.

Update 3: Nurse found out, called psychiatrist, who called my dad, who hasn't called mom yet. Dad is fully aware of the situation and it's up to both of us to tell my mom (which if any of you guys remember, was the first reason why I left SonicZone for months) and I don't know how she's going to react to a situation of the past repeating itself all over again other than maybe the same penalty. Not only will that make my situation worse but to lie to my mom for a long time (she doesn't know about the time I dated Mikey either because I didn't do any of this..) whelp... I"m not planning to tell her about Mikey but I'm sure as hell hoping she won't find out. Take this as my notice too: I might disappear again for the same reason my mom did to me three years ago because of this situation and I'm not sure when or how I'll be back if this happens to me. God damn..

Well that's disappointing to hear, but there's really nothing anyone can do but hope for the best. It's unfair to the both of us to make any drastic decisions for you, but whatever happens I'm wishing the best for ya~

[Link]

Code Purple

I don't feel like I'm loved anywhere. Both internet and Real life.

Can someone give me some comfort?

I won't be surprised if nobody replies.