Bad movies based on video games.

Started by TailsForever, March 14, 2010, 03:40:02 PM

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TailsForever

The history of movies based on video games has been anything but spectacular for the most part, and there were alot of really bad ones. Let's start with:

Super Mario Bros. (1993) - Not just one of the worst video game based movies of all time, but one of the worst movies ever made or conceived. This whole movie is an abomination. Bob Hoskins plays Mario, and John Leguizamo plays Luigi. Ohhhhhhhhhh boy. And King Koopa is played by Dennis Hopper. And what the fuck is he doing in this turd of a film? Isn't he like an Academy Award winner? He directed and starred in Easy Rider, which is supposed to be one of the greatest movies of all time! But anyway, the movie begins where some no-name, who cares narrator is talking about how dinosaurs used to rule the earth and how the meteorite that destroyed all the dinosaurs may not have destroyed all of them, but instead created a whole other dimension where they evolved into humans just like monkeys did in our world and then he's like "Hey, what if they found a way BACK!?" and the movie title appears. And you can tell from there on out how bad it's gonna be. Seriously, this movie has WTF written all over it. In the movie it's stated that Mario and Luigi aren't really brothers, but our really father and son. Luigi also points out that Mario is his mother too.
W
T
F
!
!
!


You have no idea how hard I'm laughing typing this while remembering how hysterically horrible this movie is. The alternate dimension in the film that the narrator talked about at the beginning of the movie is where the Koopa people live, and when you watch all the scenes that take place there, you feel like you're watching Judge Dredd or something. Oh, and one of the biggest WTF moments in this film is where you find out Mario and Luigi's last names. Mario's last name is Mario, and Luigi's last name is Mario. I'm still laughing as I type by the way. And WTF is with them making Toad as a street musician? Ugh, I could go on and on. But I'm not going to. Instead, I'm going to move on to the next horrible video game based movie:

STREET FIGHTER!
Not as bad as Mario Bros., but still pretty damn close! Guile is the main character of the movie, and Ryu and Ken are a pair of con men, Zangief and Dee Jay are bad guys, Chun-Li is a news reporter, and I don't remember if E. Honda and Balrog work for her or Guile. Oh yeah, and Guile's brother Charlie is Blanka. If you played the video game, Blanka ISN'T Charlie. Blanka's real name is Jimmy, and he ran away from home when he was young. And Charlie is turned into Blanka by Dhalsim, who is a scientist that Bison is holding captive. And another part of the problem is the cast:Jean Claude Van Damme as Guile, could you get a crappier actor to play Guile than Van Damme?? Also, they decided to cast Raul Julia as Bison. This was also the LAST film that Raul Julia was in! He had died of cancer shortly before the film was released, and that is very very very sad, because he's supposed to  be a legend of cinema, and his last film was such a stinker. And it's especially hard to take either Van Damme or Julia seriously because of their accents. And they made a pathetic attempt to try and stay faithful to the game by incorporating some of the games famous quotes like Guile's "Are you man enough to fight with me?" and Bison's "Anyone who opposes me will be destroyed!". But no, it still sucks. Sorry! Next on the list:

MORTAL KOMBAT!

Released 6 months after Street Fighter was this game which is based on a game that was Street Fighter's first real competition in the video game world. Okay, on to the film:First problem:The film is rated PG-13. The game is one of the most violent and bloody things ever conceived. Well actually, the movie doesn't get everything wrong. They got a fair amount of the characters' backgrounds right, and their backgrounds all involve them entering a tournament hosted by the evil Shang Tsung. Johnny Cage is a movie star, and some guy, it's been years since I seen it, I'm trying to remember the movie the best I can, I think it's his manager tells him about the tournament, and how it will help is career. But the person was really Shang Tsung in disguise. Sonya enters the tournament, because she's in pursuit of a criminal named Kano, who killed her partner. Sub-Zero and Scorpion enter the tournament to have the final word on which of them is better I guess (again, I haven't seen the film in years and I'm trying to remember the best I can), and Liu Kang enters the tournament, because he wants to avenge the death of his brother, who was killed by Shang Tsung. But that's about all they get right. On the ship that takes them to the island where the tournament is held, they meet Raiden, who's played by Christopher Lambert (of Highlander fame). He tells them something I don't remember. And the whole movie is nothing but ass.

TranceRaver83

Could of said the same thing, but with less words if you just said "All video games to movie suck, except for Tomb Raider (the first one)."

Dracoslythe

If Prince of Persia is bad, I'm going to cry my eyes out.

And yes.
MK was a terrible movie.



TranceRaver83

Quote from: Dracoslythe on March 14, 2010, 03:43:25 PM
If Prince of Persia is bad, I'm going to cry my eyes out.

And yes.
MK was a terrible movie.
At first, when i saw Prince of Persia was directed by disney, i cried, then i remembered Pirates of the Carribean was good, and i was ok again.

Dracoslythe

Quote from: TranceRaver83 on March 14, 2010, 03:47:06 PM
At first, when i saw Prince of Persia was directed by disney, i cried, then i remembered Pirates of the Carribean was good, and i was ok again.
This.



TheGameNinja


TailsForever

Quote from: TheGameNinja on March 15, 2010, 01:14:56 AM
Fox is making a Sims movie. :(

What the hell? Jesus, what next? A Tetris movie?

jkid101094

Quote from: TailsForever on March 15, 2010, 12:17:04 PM
What the hell? Jesus, what next? A Tetris movie?

You asked. xD
And yes, I know it's fake. :P


Quote from: DracoDraco:  Saber was my bitch LONG before you heard about her.  I introduced you to FSN, loser.  D<
Oh, and still...
ILU JKIDDD

Says you. She likes me more. D<
And ILU2. o3o
IaFNSW.

SonicHazso

Final Fanasty Spirits "Something" cant remember the last part.. ( not sure what year it was made)

indieShadow

i saw a movie based on dante's inferno the game... it was ok but a giant piss off

KickAsShadow

ok here's some things weird

do you think it's fake?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1495901/
It's not
now this is a terrible game movie

TheGameNinja

Quote from: KickAsShadow on May 23, 2010, 01:33:06 PM
ok here's some things weird

do you think it's fake?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1495901/
It's not
now this is a terrible game movie
That's real, but it's just a fan-movie. And, it's supposed to look stupid.

Dracoslythe

So the other day, my friend was all like "so i herd u liek megaman"  (no really...she said that.  xD) so I said "yeah...why?"  and she emailed me this link.
Haven't watched all of it, but...
Yes.
A full hour and a half SERIOUS movie.
Completely fan/amateur made.
Actually, it's good for being fan made.
http://screwattack.com/videos/Mega-Man



Riot_Monsterous

The mario bros movie definitely sucked its not even like the game. The cartoon TV series wasn't that great either. >_>
Quote from: TranceRaver83 on March 14, 2010, 03:42:53 PM
Could of said the same thing, but with less words if you just said "All video games to movie suck, except for Tomb Raider (the first one)."
Yeah, but there is some other really good video game movies. Like final fantasy the spirits within and final fantasy advent children, and the resident evil movie series is okay too

extv001

Quote from: valia_wolfie on May 28, 2010, 01:38:38 AM
The mario bros movie definitely sucked its not even like the game. The cartoon TV series wasn't that great either. >_>Yeah, but there is some other really good video game movies. Like final fantasy the spirits within and final fantasy advent children, and the resident evil movie series is okay too
Agree  ;)