Weirdest madlib evar.

[xSalashawty]

The drunkest I ever got





They say mixing different kinds of Portals is a bad idea, and now I know why.

The other night me and my friend Derek decided to hit our favorite bar, the Rusty Piano. I thought I'd start swiftly and drink a couple glasses of Pee. Imagine my surprise when in walked Avril. HA BISKY!' I yelled. Of course I had to offer to buy us a Malleo.

We started off with my favorite mixed drink, an sour Noun. Then Derek bought us all a SZ Hall iced tea. We were already feeling a little epic by the time Avril ordered us three shots of dirreah.

At that point things got stupid. Derek tried to Play some guy, I Pooped up into the bar's toilet, and we had to call a Stuff to get home.

Next thing I know, I'm waking up at 666 in the afternoon. It felt like a herd of Jkids were touching in my head. But it was worth it to have such a weird night!

[jkid101094]

It felt like a herd of Jkids were touching in my head.

...
I TOLD YOU. IT HELPS ME SLEEP AT NIGHT. *runs off crying*

[TheGameNinja]

If by play, you mean owned at Yu-Gi-Oh!, then that sounds about right.

...wait, I suck at Yu-Gi-Oh!... make that the Naruto card game. I'll whip anybody at that. Too bad no one plays it.

[jkid101094]

Dear Sister Mary Justin ,

I am writing you to ask if you would consider letting my son Katie come back to school at St. Richard. I know that he behaved in a way that was both Mad and Drunk .If you are willing to speak to him Richard would like to sincerly apologize for the following.

1.) Stealing his teacher.
2.) Calling his classmate Xsalashawty a ' Dildo '.
3.) Bringing Humoungous magazines with naked photos of Kim Petras to school.
4.) Lifting up Sister Mary Katherine's Panties and taking a peek.
5.) Refusing to Hump during reading time.
6.) Praying for Condoms during prayer time.
7.) Writing his name in Jizz on the side of the school.

Please forgive him, and consider letting him back. He really is a/an Creamy child, and has since been put on medication that he is taking 1337 times a day. He feels Transgender and misses everyone very much.

Thank you and God bless.

Sincerly,
Jordan Hart

...
Do I win? *shot*

[xSalashawty]

...
Do I win? *shot*

I wake up in the morning feelin' like P. shitty.
Got my my Tacos. I'm out the door. I'm gonna hit this Taco.
Before I leave, Nom my teeth with a bottle of Piss.
'Cause when I leave for the night I aint coming back.
I'm talkin bout pedicure on our Tounge. Mouth.
Trying on all our clothes. Clothes.
Boys blowing up our Taco. Taco.
We're going till they kick us out. out.
Till the polly shut us down.
Don't stop, make it Stupid. DJ blow my speakers up tonight.
Gonna fight till we see the sunlight. Tik Tok.
On the clock. But the party don't stop. No.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.


You should know which ones are my words.. x3

[jkid101094]

To my Dearest Jordan,

I cannot contain my horny that today is our wedding day!
It seems like only yesterday when I first saw your greasy dick. I could not believe how wet you were, and today I am the luckiest vagina alive. You are sexy , good , and happy , and I couldn't ask for anything more. The way you ram melts my heart. I want you to know that I will do all I can to give you a stiff life. My job as a massuse may not seem like much, but we will be rich with love , pain , and cocks . One day we will have over 9000 slippery children. I hope that they have my mouth and your horny tits and eye . When I see you walk down the aisle today I know I will jizz with joy! I love you with all my ass .

Love,
[Insert Name Here]

[Supersonic196]

Dear Mom,
I am having a(n) Intimate time at camp. The counselour is Annoying and the food is Nonchalant. I met Dr Eggman and we became Damp friends. Unfortunately, Dr Eggman is Financial and I Hollered my Knee so we couldn`t go Bragging like everybody else. I need more Palls and a Hand Towel sharpener, so please Bodily Experience more when you Execute back.
Your Dad,
Dr Robotnik

[xSalashawty]

Dear diary,

I met the Epicest guy last week. His name is Jkid Cheeseburgerfiyingly. It's a(n) Stupid last name, I know, but believe me, he is anything but Stupid. He has the Epicest eyes and very Sticky Mouths. After only 666 minutes with him he told me how Weird I am and he even bought me a(n) Bed He is beyond generous, he is Awesome. I never thought that a guy like him existed. I thought I would be doomed to spend the rest of my life being in relationships with guys who are obsessed with Pillows like my ex, Derek. My new man has proved me wrong. Since he's been so nice to me I think I'm going to buy him
a(n) Blankets for his birthday. He said those are his favorite. Tomorrow he's taking me to SZ Hall and then we are going to his house to play Sonic with his grandma. She's sucky, so I don't mind. I think it'll be Boring.

Thanks for listening Diary,
Valykrie

[jkid101094]

...
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. o3o

Hello, thank you so much for hiring me as your wedding planner. I'm glad you let me have complete control because I know you'll be thrilled with what I've done! First lets begin with the guest list. So far we have 89 guests that will be attending. We still have not heard back from your sister or your wife .
Now lets talk about the decorations. I picked the out the colors. I chose blue , white , and pink . I picked some dildo condoms in the same colors that you will be carrying down the aisle. We will also be decorating the church with children and beautiful asses . I know you're gonna love it!
Your bridesmaids will be wearing horney panties . And the flower girl will wear an adorable bra . You will be having your brother as the flower girl correct? I will need her slipper size as soon as possible.
Now for the ceremony, I've chosen Houki Boshi for when you walk down the aisle. I knew you would be pleased with that choice. During the ceremony your mother has agreed to read a lovely passage from Nintendo Power .
Now lets get down to the fun!! The reception!!
I've arranged to have the reception at sex creek . It will be a sit down dinner and we will be serving pie pie and baked goat or dicks for vegetarian guests. There will also be free jizz and cum served, and a cash bar for the guests that might prefer such drinks as vodka and pre-cum . juicey martinis, or shots of jizz . You and your new husband's first dance will be to ass. Then you will dance to bitch for the father/daughter dance. After that all the guests can go to the dance floor and fucking all night! Well I hope you're pleased with these plans I've made for your madly day! Talk to you soon!

...
My wife ditched me. xD

[xSalashawty]

(same site, congrats. I didn't know it was the same madlib until I solved it >_<)
Hello, thank you so much for hiring me as your wedding planner. I'm glad you let me have complete control because I know you'll be thrilled with what I've done! First lets begin with the guest list. So far we have 999999999999999999 guests that will be attending. We still have not heard back from your Brother or your Brother .
Now lets talk about the decorations. I picked the out the colors. I chose Black , Brown , and Yellow . I picked some Dumb Jkids in the same colors that you will be carrying down the aisle. We will also be decorating the church with supersonicsx196 and beautiful Valykries . I know you're gonna love it!
Your bridesmaids will be wearing Epic Levi . And the flower girl will wear an adorable Candie's . You will be having your Brother as the flower girl correct? I will need her Abbey Dawn size as soon as possible.
Now for the ceremony, I've chosen Hand of Blood for when you walk down the aisle. I knew you would be pleased with that choice. During the ceremony your Brother has agreed to read a lovely passage from Forbes .
Now lets get down to the fun!! The reception!!
I've arranged to have the reception at Fat Mary's ass . It will be a sit down dinner and we will be serving Boobs Bras and baked Wolf or shits for vegetarian guests. There will also be free Dirreah and P.o.o.p served, and a cash bar for the guests that might prefer such drinks as vodka and blood . spit martinis, or shots of pee . You and your new husband's first dance will be to Jizz in my Pants. Then you will dance to Fuck you for the father/daughter dance. After that all the guests can go to the dance floor and poke all night! Well I hope you're pleased with these plans I've made for your stupid day! Talk to you soon!