Ask jkid Anything You Want. ANYTHING.

[Elija2]

Could you give me some specific examples of when I was hostile towards you?

[jkid101094]

You berate me for every single thing I do or enjoy doing like the you're fucking epitome of the human race. It's not funny. It's not charming and it sure as hell doesn't make me want to talk to you. If I didn't love this site so much I'd have left it awhile ago because 99% of the time talking to you gives me either a migraine or just outright pisses me off.

Believe it or not I want to be your friend, Eli, but more often than not I'm either complaining about you to Wind over Skype or just outright closing the tab for this site because I need time away from you.

There's a reason why you've had two people snap on you in the past week. We love you, man, but your constant shitting on us because of our likes and thoughts doesn't want to make us open with you, it makes us want to avoid you. It's not fun for anyone involved including you because we return the favor to defend ourselves. Then you ask why we're dicks to you when the answer should be obvious if you've ever read your posts and realize just how often you attack us.

Like I said, Eli. I want to be your friend, but you, like Kyo, make that a harder feat to accomplish by the day. I understand if you need a place to vent your anger and other emotions but for fuck's sake do some scribble art or something instead of taking it out on your friends.

I like playing hentai games. When I'm full of hormones and need to rub one out I prefer to do it to things that are animated and have sound. That's lead me to various hentai games and while I realise not everyone cares I feel comfortable enough around you guys here to share that fact, when two years ago I wouldn't even post hentai on the forum out of fear of being teased for what I like. You calling me a weirdo every time I throw a new thing out there just reinforces those fears and makes me not want to tell you these things.

Then you use this topic to ask really stupid questions that I'm not even comfortable with talking about. Have I ever stepped in dog shit? What kind of toilet paper do I use? What possible reason could you have for wanting to know these things? The entire point of this topic is for people interested in me and my personality to ask me questions and get an honest answer, not to pry into my personal life down to what I do in my bathroom. Are you going to ask me if I've ever tried to stick my dick in a toilet paper roll next? How about have I ever taken a shit on the side of the road on a long trip? Maybe you want to know about the time I pissed my pants in the middle of a public school day. You have no reason to want to know about these things and I have no reason to want to tell you about them, so DON'T ASK.

I want to see you become a better person, Eli. I want to play Monster Hunter and Fantasy Life with you. I want to talk to you on Skype. I want us to be able to share our problems with each other, but for fucks sake no matter how much you apologize or how much you try to convince me otherwise I can't believe you when you say you won't judge me because you turn around and judge me on every post I make. I posted all that shit about my anxiety disorder to give you the (not so) subtle hint that I already have issues with thinking everyone is always watching and judging me and you calling me a weirdo every chance you get only serves to make my fear worse. Meaning our time together actually serves to keep me mentally unhealthy, and that's a terrible way to treat a friend.

When Wind chewed you out for always bugging him to watch and read things you love I instantly sent him a Skype message saying, "At least one of us has balls...and it isn't the transgender." because he did something I didn't have the courage to do out of fear of upsetting you or chasing you off the forum like I did Kyo.

Well now I'm finally putting my thoughts in a place you can see them. I'm tired of getting away to my family problems only to have my forum visits serve to make matters worse. I'm tired of being myself only to be unaccepted by one of my friends. I'm tired of being put on the spot near constantly to answer things I'd only tell my family about. I'm just fucking sick of it, Eli. This is exactly what I meant when I said we spend too much time together. The more time people spend together the more likely they are to run out of things to say or get tired of each others shit. I'm here nearly 365 days a year talking to the same four people day in and day out and it's starting to get draining to a point where I don't even want to do anything with my life anymore. I just want to crawl into a fucking hole in the dirt and live the rest of my life feeding off the insects that just so happen to make their way into my mouth because I'm tired of people always judging and ridiculing me. I'm tired of waking up every morning to a mother that doesn't appreciate my help. I'm tired of having kids that look up to me and won't leave me alone unless I lock myself away from them. I'm tired of trying to get away from my life's problems only to get more in the one place that should be my escape.

I'm so fucking tired.

And I doubt any amount of sleep is going to fix whatever the fuck is wrong with me.

[Elija2]

I thought it was obvious that all of the posts I make where I pick on you are jokes and that I don't actually give a shit about your weird interests. Maybe it's not funny, I can accept that, but you don't always have to take it as an insult. I don't feel like I should have to apologize for saying innocent stuff such as "That thing you like is dumb" just because for whatever reason you take it as a personal attack. I'm sure you've done the same thing to me plenty of times in the past but I don't make anything of it. It's a harmless thing that friends do to mess with each other, stop taking it so seriously.

[jkid101094]

I thought it was obvious that all of the posts I make where I pick on you are jokes and that I don't actually give a shit about your weird interests.

Obviously it's not, considering I just typed a block of text telling you to cut it out.

I'm sure you've done the same thing to me plenty of times in the past but I don't make anything of it.

The difference between when I do it and when you do it is that I don't do it every chance I get. I don't always bash on Wind for liking shit I don't care about. I only do it to you so much because you do it to me and it pisses me off.

Maybe it's not funny, I can accept that, but you don't always have to take it as an insult. I don't feel like I should have to apologize for saying innocent stuff such as "That thing you like is dumb" just because for whatever reason you take it as a personal attack.  It's a harmless thing that friends do to mess with each other, stop taking it so seriously.

I feel like a broken record telling you that I have a fucking mental disorder that almost prevents me from doing that. Do you think I want to always think you're making fun of me? Do you think I want to be afraid that everyone talks about me behind my back? No, I don't. I just happen to have a chemical imbalance in my brain that makes those thoughts almost impossible to chase away. I can't just "stop taking it so seriously" because after being teased my entire life and dealing with a mental illness I'm pretty much programed to take those things seriously all the time, especially from people like you that remind me of my brother.

I know it sounds like I'm using my anxiety disorder as a crutch, but there's a reason I go to spend an hour with a therapist every month. To me your "teasing" feels like verbal abuse and that's the last thing I want more of. If it was something I could just get rid of I would have but currently the only thing I can do is take two separate medications each day and talk to someone qualified to help me. As my friend I'd expect you to understand that and cut the shit for my sake, but I guess it's too much work to actually think before you post something to the internet.

[Elija2]

I don't do it every chance I get. I tease you about your fetishes and that's pretty much it.

And I didn't know that one of the symptoms of social anxiety is "inability to take a joke." Like, I'd understand if I was just some stranger picking on you, but we've been friends for years and you still think that I'd shit on you like that? I guess I underestimated how severe your anxiety disorder really is. I'm sorry for teasing you all the time and I'll try to cut it out for your sake.

[jkid101094]

I don't do it every chance I get. I tease you about your fetishes and that's pretty much it.

My mom petting my head is not a fetish, nor is agreeing with me when I put myself down. I'm sure there are more examples but I'm too tired to dig for them.

And I didn't know that one of the symptoms of social anxiety is "inability to take a joke."

If I couldn't take jokes I wouldn't have friends. I just can't take them when they're rapid fired at me and they began to fade into insults.

Like, I'd understand if I was just some stranger picking on you, but we've been friends for years and you still think that I'd shit on you like that?

We can know each other for our entire lives and never learn of each others true nature. We may be friends, but I'd hardly say I know you well enough to completely trust you 100% of the time.

I guess I underestimated how severe your anxiety disorder really is.

I spent two or three years almost always locked up in my bedroom only coming out to either go to bathroom or eat because on my anxiety disorder. If that alone doesn't tell you how serious the issue is then I can't convince you.

I guess I underestimated how severe your anxiety disorder really is. I'm sorry for teasing you all the time and I'll try to cut it out for your sake.

You don't even have to stop completely, just give me some positive reinforcement or something and don't do it all the time. Compliments go a long way with someone who would otherwise think everyone secretly hates him.

[Elija2]

My mom petting my head is not a fetish, nor is agreeing with me when I put myself down. I'm sure there are more examples but I'm too tired to dig for them.

I said that an adult enjoying being pet by their mom is weird. Is that so bad? And I don't agree with you when you put yourself down. Hell, I was the one encouraging you to continue working on your game after you gave up on it.

I spent two or three years almost always locked up in my bedroom only coming out to either go to bathroom or eat because on my anxiety disorder. If that alone doesn't tell you how serious the issue is then I can't convince you.

Well...shit...

You don't even have to stop completely, just give me some positive reinforcement or something and don't do it all the time. Compliments go a long way with someone who would otherwise think everyone secretly hates him.

I'm pretty sure the last time we got into an argument about this I gave a big inspirational speech about how I think you're cool and stuff like that. Can't you just print that and tape it onto your wall?

[jkid101094]

I said that an adult enjoying being pet by their mom is weird. Is that so bad? And I don't agree with you when you put yourself down. Hell, I was the one encouraging you to continue working on your game after you gave up on it.

But you DID agree that I'm a terrible writer, which happens to be one of the few things I feel I'm good at.

Well...shit...

Hence why I see a therapist. At least I had you guys to talk to, though.

I'm pretty sure the last time we got into an argument about this I gave a big inspirational speech about how I think you're cool and stuff like that. Can't you just print that and tape it onto your wall?

I don't own a printer and besides, actions speak louder than words.

[Elija2]

But you DID agree that I'm a terrible writer, which happens to be one of the few things I feel I'm good at.

I'm sorry, I'm not gonna lie and say that your writing is good. Obviously you enjoy it though so don't let me or anyone else stop you.

I don't own a printer and besides, actions speak louder than words.

Remember that time I was the only one who bothered to test your game for you? That's because I was bored care.

[jkid101094]

I'm sorry, I'm not gonna lie and say that your writing is good. Obviously you enjoy it though so don't let me or anyone else stop you.

Well then I appreciate your honesty.

Remember that time I was the only one who bothered to test your game for you? That's because I was bored care.

And then you never finished testing it. You made an effort and for that I'm glad, but you didn't even follow through with the whole thing which really doesn't help your case much.

[Elija2]

And then you never finished testing it. You made an effort and for that I'm glad, but you didn't even follow through with the whole thing which really doesn't help your case much.

I stopped because you gave up on it yourself. If you had showed interest in continuing to work on it then I would have continued testing it, but instead you dropped it so I felt that there was no need for me to keep playing it. I actually still had the game on my hard drive until very recently though.

[jkid101094]

I want to go to sleep so I'll just say, "Fair Enough" and end our conversation.

[Elija2]

Sleep tight.

[Hakudamashi]

[Elija2]

Haku, you need to stop walking in on jkid and I when we're fighting. This is almost as bad as when you walk in on us making out.