Five (or more) Games That NEED Reboots

[jkid101094]

Now I was thinking about this today and I figured I'd might as well do my list and leave you guys to add in your own stuff. The games on this list are not representing their series but themselves. Basically I'm saying I'd like to see them wiped off the face of the Earth and have their company do another game with similar plot points, locations, characters, ect. To help you understand why these games were chosen here is the list of criteria;

1). The games must (in my opinion) be ones that no one would miss if a better version was provided. I should expect no one should say, "Gee, the reboot of so and so is better in every way but I still miss the original."

2). I don't necessarily consider these games bad, but I think they could have been done better or have been released at a different time or even have been spin-offs.

Really I've already forgotten half of my points while typing this intro so let's get started.

#5 - Sonic Lost World (Wii U)

I've already gone on and on about how much I despise this game. Oddly enough it's actually the best game out of all the ones I'm going to talk about and would honestly need the least tweaking to actually become a good game.

To put it in a bit of perspective let me try to recount all the problems I have with this game;

• 100 Rings =/= A life (And lord knows you'll need them)
• Wisps REQUIRE motion controls that don't work (I couldn't even figure out how to use the Note or Black Hole wisps)

To the game's credit a recent patch fixed these two issues...It didn't however fix;

• The uninteresting story with out of character dialogue.
• The main villains of the game constantly spouting unfunny one-liners during the entirety of boss stages.
• That fucking snowball level.
• The lack of being told how to use all the new mechanics.
• Having to collect Flickies to face the boss of each world when they don't play any other role in the game including during the story.
• An difficulty curve like a spiked wall.
• Horrible level designs that sometimes have you finding springs buried in the stage's mesh with no indication they're there.
• The first stage of the Special World. There is seriously what in the hell is that even?
• The uninteresting bonus stages and shortcuts that served NO PURPOSE AT ALL until the game patch.
• RC Vehicles that do nothing unless you were dumb enough to buy both versions of the game.
• Controls and mechanics that neither work well with each other or alone.
• Shitty Red Ring placement. The third one in Sky Road Act 1. I DARE YOU to get that how they expect you to.

It does however, say a bit about this game that not only is it #5 on this list but that I don't feel the need to go into as much detail about it as I do the others you'll see...like #4...

#4 - Sonic The Hedgehog [Sonic 06'] (PS3/Xbox 360)

Wow, two Sonic games back to back? SEGA really knows how to destroy expectations, don't they?

Either way the stages in this game are weirdly unique. I mean, Wave Ocean is the most similar thing to past zones in the game but excluding it these zones could have been really great. In concept, I mean. Think of it this way. Sonic 06' was an abomination. Why? Various reasons including a terrible story, horrible gimmicks, glitches out the ass and just being rushed.

Now imagine a new game that plays like Generations, but uses Soleana as a hub world, keeps all the zone themes and cuts the, 'save the princess' bullshit instead just having Sonic stop Eggman and Mephiles on the side. I mean, we can all agree that Mephiles is a cool villain, right? Sonic 06' might be a pretty bad game but quite a few ideas from it feel more than salvageable enough to just retcon and redo the thing entirely. Just cut the ball puzzle, the hovercraft, every stage segment involving Knuckles, Tails, Amy, Omega, Blaze or Rogue, focus on adapting the main three characters into Generations esqe gameplay and we have a pretty OK game.

Also, at least having one good game called, "Sonic the Hedgehog" would make the series seem like less of a joke.

#3 - Resident Evil 5 (PS3/Xbox 360/PC)

"Chris Redfield is my name, killin' dead niggas is my game." - Said no one ever.

There are quite a few things that make my favorite games my favorites but like most gamers one of the most prominent is nostalgia. I grew up with a brother who was obsessed with the horror genre of everything so it only makes sense that I had decent exposure to one of the most popular horror franchises of all time. Of all the games in the series one stands out the most to me because of how badly it haunted my dreams as a kid.

As a kid the Nemesis fucking petrified me. I couldn't even watch my brother play the game. It had me scared so bad that I would often lose sleep thinking about Nemesis breaking into my house and doing...well...this;

Star puns aside this game left a huge impact on me as a kid and when I was finally brave enough to watch someone beat it it was like overcoming one of my biggest fears. Needless to say this game set the bar for what I thought a Resident Evil game should be.

Enter Resident Evil 5. By this point I had already gotten over my fear of Nemesis and had grown to really like Jill as a character (Thank you, MvC2!) so when my brother asked me to be his co-op partner in 5 I was like, "Hells to the yeah!".

...but then it wasn't creepy. Nor were there zombies. Granted those stupid Preying Mantis things gave me a hard time but overall the game fell short of what I had expected from 3. What really killed this game for me is when my brother told me they killed off Jill. He had begun playing the game before me so, as stated before, I jumped on not only to play my first Resident Evil game but also to see what they did to my favorite character.

...and then this happened.

I then promptly proceeded to pop a bullet into her skull much to my brother's dismay forcing us to restart the mission.

Seriously, though, how does one go from this:



to this?

I mean, I knew before this point that the guy with the bird mask was Jill because the plot of this game was stupidly predictable but even then I couldn't believe what the hell they had done to her. You guys know how much I love blondes in tight spandex but this is like shitting all over my childhood right there. Nemesis had gotten me so attached to the character and they basically made a new one and plastered her name on it. Like seriously, what the fuck Capcom?

Even after all my time bitching about Jill though I still actually enjoyed the game. I might not go back and play it but I enjoyed it enough to unlock the 'real' Jill in mercenary mode and then some.

But all this reminiscing doesn't exactly justify it being on this list by itself, does it? Really I'm sure most Resident Evil fans want this and 6 wiped off the face of the Earth and to be honest, if only to restore Jill's character, I'm happy to agree with them. Take this game and 6. Forget they ever happened and just give us the survival horror game everyone but me wants. No one wants to remember this.

Disgusting.

#2 - Soul Calibur V (PS3/Xbox 360)

Oh ho ho ho. Here it is. The big one. I'm sure you all saw this coming. I hate this game with a fiery fucking passion and the moment I finished ranting about the last one my heart started pumping and I could fill the rage flaring from the core of my soul.

"Hey guys. How do we make a sequel to a beloved franchise new and interesting?"
"Um...kill everyone off?"
"Amazing idea! Give this man a raise!"

That is the only way I can see this discussion going down. I assume they were either going for a big cash-in or were just horribly high during this game's planning stages but they obviously weren't thinking straight.

Soul Calibur is a weird series because it was basically an uphill climb until Soul Calibur 3 after which it just plummeted. Soul Edge was cool. Soul Calibur was great. Soul Calibur II was fucking fantastic. Soul Calibur III was absolutely amazing in every way, shape and form excluding the lack of a Gamecube port...then Soul Calibur IV was about as good as Soul Calibur.

Soul Calibur V was just fucking garbage, though.

On the surface it doesn't look like a bad game. If it's your first SC game you'll likely think the story sucks but really that's it. If you're a fan of the series that's played every game from Soul Calibur to Soul Calibur Legends like I have, though, you'll quickly notice the glaring issues here.

Soul Edge came out in 1996 in Japanese Arcades. Soul Calibur V came out last year in 2012.

That's sixteen years the series has had to expand it's lore, character roster and fighting engine.

Soul Calibur V is like, "fuck all dat shit" though. Half of the roster from the previous games? Dead. I'm not even fucking kidding. They don't even have the courtesy to show them dying on screen either like Mortal Kombat did with every game after Deadly Alliance. To run salt even deeper into the wounds series staples like Taki are actually replaced buy generic characters with the exact same move sets. The story doesn't even mention most of them either, meaning there is literally no point to them even being in the game.

Speaking of the story, let me sum it up for you:

• Uninteresting son of Sophitia does some shit and murders people he thinks are evil without trial.
• Uninteresting king who was never mentioned in any other game banishes uninteresting son for reasons.
• Tira brainwashes uninteresting son's interesting sister because she has a fragment of Soul Edge inside her.
• Uninteresting sister turns evil. Uninteresting son kills her.
• Uninteresting son becomes an emo prick.
• While walking through a desert uninteresting son is told by random old guy that he can go back in time and save his sister somehow.
• He does that and the game is over.
• Until the good sword, Soul Calibur, turns into an evil incarnation of his mother and fights him to the death for some reason.

That is literally the story. Not a fucking shred of it makes the slightest shit of sense and it's all told through the ugliest storybook cutscenes I've ever seen.

Overall the story is two hours or boring dialogue between characters no one gives a fuck about.

And if killing off most of the interesting characters and ruining 16 years or lore wasn't bad enough for you then wait until you realize that there aren't even any Arcade Mode endings.

...I'm not even fucking kidding.

There are like four single player modes and they're all essentially the same with one being cheap as all hell.

Riveting, I know.

But more on the roster. Here is an image of the full thing including the DLC character, Dampierre.

Not only is that 27 characters vs. Soul Calibur 4's 34 but Uninteresting Son and Uninteresting Sister fill up two slots each with alternate forms, three of the unlockable characters use the weapons or random characters on the roster (men, women and everyone) and one is the final boss of the last game that has nothing at all to do with this one. Seriously that entire bottom row of characters could go and no one would care. What makes it worse? The guy with the gold helmet there at the bottom is Kilik, a veteran since the first game who was reduced to having to copy the movesets of male characters randomly because someone decided the generic Goku wannabe deseved his moveset more.

Hell, even Taki, a character that repped the series in Namco x Capcom was replaced by a ginger.

Really I implore you to go research this shit. I wish I was making it up.

Now to be fair this game played just as well as IV but it's so much worse in every other aspect. That's not what a sequel should be.

I will give credit where credit is due, though. The character creation in this game is the best it's ever been.

True freedom.

So what could I want to seen wiped off the face of the Earth and retconned even more than this piece of garbage?




-Drum Roll -

#1 - Marvel vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds (PS3/Xbox 360)

Now it's not that I hate this game, because I don't...Well, not as much as others do anyway, but to know where I'm coming from you have to know something about me.

Growing up I loved fighting games. I loved Smash Bros. I loved Mortal Kombat. I loved Street Fighter and everything I could put my quarters into. I was a big Arcade person, as was my bro, and every time we went to hotels or to the movies we'd always bring a bunch of quarters because we'd at least spend an hour of our time on the Arcade machines. John always enjoyed FPS games like Carnevil and House of the Dead but I always gravitated to the Capcom vs. games if they had them. I can't remember if my love for Spiderman and Megaman came before or after MvC2 but until it shut down I'd go to a bowling alley in the nearby mall and sit on the MvC2 machine for hours. I remember my team being Megaman, Jill and Spiderman and I felt pretty confident using them.

I don't like to pick favorites, but Marvel vs. Capcom 2 is, if not my absolute, one of my favorite games of all time. It's what made the fighting genre my favorite and got me into playing those kinds of games. Even now though I suck at them I'd still love to play MvC2 again, even online. Not the PSN port, though. I hear it's mediocre.

I bet you can guess now that when I heard MvC3 was being made I got excited as all fuck and pre-ordered it as soon as I could. As the months past, though, my expectations began to plummet. The roster, while letting in a lot of cool and new characters, removed a lot of the ones I loved. Venom? Amingo? Roll? Ruby Hart? Jill?

The face of your fucking company?
A veteran of the series?
The reason I played your game in the first place?

And you replaced him with a fucking side character!?

I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Zero, but that was just a low blow. Now to be fair Capcom added characters later on that I wanted like Jill and Pheonix Wright, be they even managed to fuck that up.

We've already discussed my hatred for Zero Suit Slutbag.

Wright was cool though, sadly I never got to play as him because I wasn't going to shell out another $40 and make the $60 I spent before worthless.

I'm not sure if you've seen it but there's even a menu glitch that makes half of the screen purple. They couldn't even get the menu screen right with this fucking thing. There aren't even that many modes in the game either. Granted I know fighters aren't big on those kinds of things but at least SCV had some sort of campaign. This was literally a port of an Arcade game.

Not to mention all the original characters and stages from MvC2 were gone. Sure Marvel vs. Capcom is a crossover franchise and I can even understand why Ryu and Wolverine were the faces of it, but MvC2 built up a bit of original lore as well which I loved. It took the universes of Marvel and Capcom and combined them with it's own and gave it a special and unique feeling kind of like how Smash Bros. does. MvC3 took all of that and chucked it out the window which also killed a bit of the game's charm

This is a better game than Sonic Lost World, Sonic 06', RE5 and SCV in my opinion but even still it took a large piece of my childhood and trashed it. I waited years and stuck by this thing when even the guy at Gamestop told me to change my reservation and it shat on me. I figured nothing could top the greatness that was MvC2 but it fell so low from it that it was almost depressing. Granted I can still play MvC2 if I can get my hands on the PS2 port but that doesn't mean it won't make me wish for a sequel that's better than this one.

Oh well. At least Megaman is absent and not dead like Sophit-Oh wait.

[Hakudamashi]

So this is where you disappeared to.

[jkid101094]

Yes. Now I'd appreciate it if you responded to the topic.

[Hakudamashi]

This is the most heartfelt and passionate words I've ever read on a forum. The amount of heart and soul poured into this text is soo exuberant I think it made me pregnant.

Dem feels man

Y'know what I want retconned and reebooted? FFXIII
Why not make FFXIII Not exist, and make Bravely Default FFXIII? =U

And Metroid Other M. Let's take the dude that wrote the manga to write the story, and make retro do the level design and Team Ninja can handle the combat NONE OF THAT WHINY MONOLOGUE NARROW HALLWAY BULLSHIT!

[jkid101094]

This is the most heartfelt and passionate words I've ever read on a forum. The amount of heart and soul poured into this text is soo exuberant I think it made me pregnant.

Dem feels man

Honestly I thought it came off as whiny. I'm glad you disagree.

Y'know what I want retconned and reebooted? FFXIII
Why not make FFXIII Not exist, and make Bravely Default FFXIII? =U

I would agree had I ever played either.

And Metroid Other M. Let's take the dude that wrote the manga to write the story, and make retro do the level design and Team Ninja can handle the combat NONE OF THAT WHINY MONOLOGUE NARROW HALLWAY BULLSHIT!

Haven't played this either. In fact, I completely forgot about it.

[Hakudamashi]

Also, if you want to reboot RE5, you're gonna have o do it from RE4, cause that's where all the change started...

[jkid101094]

I heard RE4 was great, though?

[Elija2]

Sonic the Hedgehog is already essentially a reboot of the Sonic Adventure games. What would the point of rebooting it be when a good reboot would be totally unlike the original game?

All of your non-Sonic reboot choices aren't because you dislike the gameplay but because you didn't like the way they handled the characters you like. Seems like a silly reason to reboot the games.

[jkid101094]

Sonic the Hedgehog is already essentially a reboot of the Sonic Adventure games. What would the point of rebooting it be when a good reboot would be totally unlike the original game?

The point is to make it better than the original game and the Sonic Adventure engine is outdated and clunky.

All of your non-Sonic reboot choices aren't because you dislike the gameplay but because you didn't like the way they handled the characters you like. Seems like a silly reason to reboot the games.

Story is part of games too, you know. I did focus a lot on the characters but I had reason to as they had the most impact on me.

Also "characters I like" and half of the previous games roster aren't exactly the same thing.

[Elija2]

The point is to make it better than the original game and the Sonic Adventure engine is outdated and clunky.

So how about a spiritual successor to the Adventure games instead of a reboot of the worst Sonic game ever?

[jkid101094]

So how about a spiritual successor to the Adventure games instead of a reboot of the worst Sonic game ever?

Why not both?

[Elija2]

Why not both?

Who wants to be reminded of that atrocious game?

[Hakudamashi]

Who wants to be reminded of that atrocious game?

People who think Elise is cute.

[jkid101094]

Who wants to be reminded of that atrocious game?

Who wants to have it redeemed so it's made slightly less atrocious?

[Hakudamashi]

I heard RE4 was great, though?

Did you play it?