The Biolizard Makes me Want to Cry

[jkid101094]

So here's this guy living in a small pool of water for 50+ years with nothing but the life support system on his back keeping him alive. Suddenly a group of people just storm his home waking him up and then decide, "Hey, let's attack this thing!" From Sonic and friend's point of view the Biolizard was an evil beast that needed to be stopped...but what exactly did it do to deserve that train of thought?

I mean look at the poor guy. He's just an animal and he's been stuck in isolation for at least 50 years. So when Sonic decides to just rush in he thinks something's up and, being a territorial reptile, roars to tell them, "hey, get the fuck off my lawn".

Looking at the Biolizard, however, it's clear that he never posed a threat to anyone. A fact that most people overlook is that the Biolizard only has two legs. He only has stubby fin-like limbs where his back legs should be which is why he only ever moves in a circle. Even with two back legs he'd probably be unable to support the weight of the giant machine on his back anyway and let's not even go over the obviously infected wounds all over the poor guy's body.

Not to mention that he can only chase the player for about a minute top until he runs out of energy and basically begins having an asthma attack, at which point the life support system kicks into overdrive. Does Sonic help him then? NAH. Better ride up the tube connected to his respiratory system and kick him in the fucking brain.

But that's not enough because now that the Biolizard realizes he's in danger he starts actually defending himself...the only problem being that his defenses are utter shit. The shadow balls he spews are easily avoided and those pink things that form a "shield"? Poor guy can hardly keep them up and here you are abusing them to make another attempt to give him a concussion.

Omochao specifically states that the Biolizard is a male, meaning that even with artificial insemination he couldn't carry eggs (assuming either party would live through that if he could) and since only female lizards can be asexual he literally had no chance of finding company until Sonic arrived.

...and what does Shadow say after the poor thing gives up and drops dead?

"Get out you ugly prototype!"

Christ, Shadow. What an insensitive douchebag.

And God forbid he get to rest in peace because his life support soon takes over causing the poor guy's brain and heart to not only forcefully restart but to cause him an obvious amount of pain and strap him to a goddamn space colony. Soon his skin starts to swell and turn pink and he sits writhing in pain with a cannon up his ass so what does Sonic do? Pop the swelling spots, of course! So as the Biolizard takes it's last breathe before going completely limp and lifeless while the life support system catches fire desperately trying to revive him his body eventually burns up completely as the Ark begins to enter the Earth's atmosphere.

...and then he's never mentioned again.

So ends the story of our gentle Biolizard, a tortured, diseased and lonely animal barely clinging on to life until Sonic and friends decide that further harming the poor guy is somehow necessary. What fucking assholes.

Here's to you, buddy. May your next life bring you more joy than the piece of shit one you just lost.

[jkid101094]

It was either kill it or let the Earth be destroyed.

How do you figure that? The only reason Shadow fought it was to buy the others time to prepare the altar at the end of the room so they could use the Master and Chaos Emeralds. Shadow beating on him was just a giant dick move.

What makes you think he didn't willingly do that? And even if he wasn't willing, what did you expect Sonic and Shadow to do? Let him crash into Earth?

They managed to warp the entire colony out of the Earth's orbit. What makes you think it mattered whether or not the Biolizard was still alive when they did it? They could have just as easily warped it somewhere else and just let the Ark float around in space but noooo.

[Hakudamashi]

Didn't they stop the Ark from crashing, but then the Biolizard attached itself to the Ark and forced it to crash into the Earth?

[jkid101094]

Well the Biolizard attempted to crash the ARK into Earth as soon as it woke up so it was clearly unsafe to keep around.

No, Gerald Robotnik was the one crashing the Ark into the Earth. He rigged the Eclipse Cannon's control panel to instead set the Ark crashing into Earth once the Emeralds were collected. Abusing the Biolizard was a failsafe in case his initial plan failed (which it did once the Master Emerald was placed in the Ark's alter).

With the Biolizard still alive it would have kept setting the ARK's trajectory towards Earth. It needed to be killed once and for all.

Except that there are two problems with that logic. The first assumes that it was the Biolizard controlling the Ark in the first place. Even though Eggman says that, "the prototype is determined to keep the Ark on it's course" what implies he's saying that with any knowledge of the Biolizard's intentions? For all we know the life support system strapped to his back was rigged with these events in mind years ago.



The second is the Ark's size. Looking at one of the scenes where it's size is compared to the Earth it's hardly bigger than the meteorites that strike our planet yearly, not to mention it was aiming for completely open Ocean. Had the Ark crashed into the planet it's highly improbable that the impact would have caused any major damage at all. Sure, you could argue that Gerald would know more about Sonic's Earth than we do but considering the video we see in SA2 was recorded as his last request after being in a mental institution for a good while I think it's safe to assume he wasn't in the right mind when he recorded it.